Importance of Active Listening
I was doing home tuition for a kid in Serangoon.
Her grandma always come to me and complain about her, saying "she is too lazy to do work, so she(grandma) had to beat her up everyday." Meanwhile, the girl, Yvette was speechless and refuse to respond to her. It seems like between them, there is a lack of active listening. Yvette refuse to listen to her grandma and doing her own things, her grandma keep beat her up and scold her because of that. I once asked her about why is her grandma so fierce, why didn't she try to listen to what her grandma said so that she suffer less. Yvette told me that she tried to do so but her grandma still scold her, so she would rather refuse to respond to her.
The situation is worsened by age and culture. There is a huge generation gap between them, and her grandma is less used to the current technology. Yvette told me sometimes when she was studying with her iPad, her grandma would think that she is playing and scold her. When she was explaining that she was doing work, her grandma did not believe her. Chinese culture tend to be more demanding and strict to children, and this is extremely true to Yvette's family. Her family have four kids and they were all under a strict house rule. Some of them did improved but some of them just became more rebellious. I gave tuition to three of their kids and all three told me that they had been beaten by their grandma.
I believe active listening will help their family greatly, because they always argue and the result is usually the kids get scolded. If they practice active listening, stand in another people's shoes and think of why is she arguing with me and be more tolerant, their family will be more harmonious. If kids study more at home, play lesser game and listen to their grandma, they would not argue with each other. If their grandma can be more tolerant and think in the kids shoes, that they were still young, they need other ways to be taught rather than beaten up and scold, they would also argue lesser.
